Spoiler
by MissDevon
Summary: Reacting to John and Natalie's engagement, Evangeline reveals the truth about 'John Doe,' the reprecusions of which, she could've never expected as the bounds of families are tested, discovered, and rediscovered. NatJohnVang- BuchannanVega story
1. Default Chapter

**Spoiler**

Chapter 1

She stared at the other woman, before spatting out the hateful words: "you just can't stand the fact that he decided he didn't want to be with you. That when things cleared, when he got over his guilt, he chose to give a relationship with me a chance."

"Didn't you ever wonder why there was suddenly so much less guilt?" she shot back evenly. "Why he suddenly felt he could be with you? Why he walked away from all that I offered him? Don't you think guilt was a factor there too? I mean, I wasn't privy to their conversation, but don't you think that Christian must have asked him to look after you for him? I mean, he did claim in court that he did it all for you."

"Don't! That man, whoever the hell he was, wasn't my Christian!"

"Maybe not, but he was still Christian."

"SHUT UP! I don' have to listen to this! To _you._ Just shut up!"

"You deserve to know the truth."

"Truth? What do you know about the truth?"

"A hell of a lot more than a spoiled manipulative brat like you."

"Manipulative? You calling me that is rich!"

"Meaning?"

"RJ got tired of your games. John finally saw pass them. And if you're so up on the truth, here's one for you: you were a rebound. I tried to get to see I was ready, but he'd back off. Then he was ready, but I was trying to save Rex and was in over my head with Paul, and you were convenient. Funny, how he had sex with you, but stopped from doing anything with me out respect for Caitlyn's memory. Or maybe it was just out of respect for me."

Evangeline smirked at that: "is that what he calls it? Why he hasn't slept with you yet?" she asked cattily. "Why you two are waiting? Old school values?"

"Just shut up and leave!"

"Funny, how even morally righteous Christian didn't wait, but John wants to. Wonder if it's because he knows how bad it will be. How fireless," she rebutted, only to reel back as Natalie's open palm connected forcefully with Evangeline's face.

"GET THE HELL OUT," the red head seethed. "And stay the hell out of my life."

"Or what?'

"The wrath of a Buchanan isn't something you want to mess with," Natalie said evenly stepping up to her.

"If you were a true one, I might be scared. But the truth is what it is. Sorry I'm the messenger," she shot back stiffly. "See for yourself," she added pulling out an envelope from her over sized purse and throwing it at Natalie. "You should've asked John why he never showed you the results," Evangeline tacked on as she turned and walked out of the house.

As the door slid shut, Natalie bent and picked up the envelope. "She has to be lying. It has to be some sort of a trick," she muttered, even as an inner voice mocked: _what if she's not. _


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

John got out of his car in time to see Evangeline hurrying down the stairs. As he approached, he missed the calculated look in her eyes, but not the tears on her face. "What happened?"

"Your girlfriend took a swig with me. I swear, John, if it were anyone else, I'd press charges. But you know how it is. She'll make up some excuse, and no one will believe me."

John sighed: "why are you here, because I doubt that Natalie invited you over for any reason. And she's not my girlfriend. She's my fiancée."

"Right. See what I mean about people believing me?" she sighed as she wiped at the drying tear tracks.

"'Vang. . ."

"Fine. I came by to congratulate you two. I read the announcement in the paper."

"Not a reason for Nat to hit you. So why else are you here?"

"To drop off some of your things that were still at my place."

"Evangeline."

"I know. I just. . . well, I had still hoped that once you got this silly infatuation out of your system that well. . . I never thought you'd move this fast. You had told me you weren't ready for marriage. Guess it was just with me."

"I never meant to hurt you. Never meant for things to get so complicated."

"Life is complicated, John. I suppose, even when no strings are attached," she sighed.

"Why did Natalie hit you?"

Evangeline smirked as she tilted her head to side: "I suppose I told her something that she didn't want to hear," she admitted.

"Like what?"

"Just something you should've," she answered. "Look, John. I better get going. I wouldn't want to make things more complicated."

"Meaning?" John asked.

Shrugging, she moved pass him and to her car, pausing as she opened the door as she turned, catching his bemused expression: "I suppose I should've warned you, I make a mean woman scorned. But somehow, I think the one you're about to face is a hell of a lot worse," she called to him. "You should've just told the truth and saved us all the heartache," she added as she slid into the drivers eat and slammed the door shut.

"What the hell is she talking about?" he muttered as he turned and went into the house, wondering what he might find. . .


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Using his key, John let himself into the cottage, his voice strong as he called for Natalie, even as he wondered at what he'd find. _Evangeline would do anything drastic,_ a voice in his head reminded as he moved into the living room. Scanning it, he took note of the box on the table, before his eyes landed o n Natalie silhouetted in the window. "Hey, what's going on? I called," he started as he crossed to her and put his hands on her shoulders. "Look, I'm sorry."

"Really?" Natalie asked as she stiffened. "For what?"

"I didn't know that Evangeline still had any of my stuff. I would've gotten it myself if I had."

"Oh. Tell me, John, is that all you have to be sorry for? To feel guilty about?" she asked, pulling away from him and looked over her shoulder at him.

"What's that supposed to mean? Did Evangeline say something to you?"

Natalie laughed hollowly at that: "you could say that. She also showed me some things. Are you sure, there's nothing you need to tell me?"

"Evangeline and I are through, Natalie. If she made you think otherwise, I'm sorry. But, you should know by now that I'm a one woman man. I always have been."

"You knew, John. That's one thing I've never worried about when it came to you," she sighed. "All I've ever had to worry about were the things you were keeping from me."

"Natalie, I don't know what she said to you, and if you don't tell me, I can't. . ."

"What? Counter it? Explain it away?" she asked as she spun around and threw the envelop at him. "How are you going to explain this away? How are you going to convince me that you had to do it? What was it? Atonement? Did you think it would make it better?" she pressed on as she held her left hand up to his face: "was I some prize? Or am I someone to make it seem OK? Someone safe because it will never be legal?"

Swallowing, John felt his heart drop with assumptions and race with unease. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"DNA doesn't lie. I heard that somewhere. Maybe it was you or just an episode of some cop show. I don't know. In a way it's funny, because so many times it seemed like you stepped off of one. But you didn't. You're not some fictional hero, but a real, flawed man. One who's hurt me one too many times by keeping one too many secrets."

"Natalie, I don't understand."

"Of course you don't. I thought you understood me, only now I see you never did, or you would've told me. My Christian's dead, Christian Vega isn't, is he, John?"

"Natalie," he sighed. "You don't understand the position I was in. He begged me not to tell anyone. He feels that you're better off. He killed Tico. He's taken responsibility for it and he knows that he'll be in Statesville for a long time. He hates what he put you all through. And I think a part of him is afraid of what he might still be programmed to do."

Biting her lip, she shook her head, "why didn't you tell anyone!"

"Because he asked me not to. And because it was the least I could after ruining his life."

"And what about mine? Did you ever think of mine or were you going to make the ultimate sacrifice by marrying me? Is that the real reason you wanted to get married? Why you wanted to wait before we made love?"

"No, I didn't want to give you the chance to change your mind. As for the waiting, well, I wanted to prove that you meant more to me than just. . . that's how Evangeline and I started and I wanted you know that it wasn't just sex," he shook his head as he reached out and bracketed her shoulders with his hands. "Damnit, Natalie. You're the first person since Caitlyn died that I've said I love you to. You have to know. . ."

"I have to know what?" she asked angrily as she pulled away. "G-d, you can't just. . . you're the first person since Chris that I've said those words to, but right now it doesn't seem to mean a whole lot."

"You don't mean that."

"Don't you _dare_ tell me what I do or don't mean, McBaine," she retaliated as she moved around him. "Love isn't always enough. Look at my parents. Or better yet the train wreck that is my Uncle Todd and Blair."

"We're not like them, Natalie."

"Aren't we? Isn't one of us trying to change or control the other? Pretend to trust, but don't? Isn't there always some impossible situation?"

"We can get pass this."

"Oh, can we?"

"Natalie, if you'd just hear me out. . ."

"I would've. If you had come to me then, I would have. G-d, John, I was so town up inside. Felt so guilty because I should've been glad my husband was back, but. . . he was so different, and there were my feelings for you and. . . I was betrayed. . . I felt so taken advantage of when he turned out not to be Christian. In some ways, it was like he had raped me. . . but I could never. . ." she shook her head on the tears that she was trying to keep from falling. "I watched him plead, and say he loved me. I saw a flicker of the man I had loved then. It was really him for a moment and I had to deny it. Antonio, Carlotta, and I had to loose him again and it was all a LIE!"

"We didn't know till later. He made the choice. . ."

"Don't you get it! It wasn't either of yours to make!"

"What would've changed if I told?"

"Carlotta would have her son. Antonio his brother."

"And what about you? Would you have your husband?"


	4. chapter 4

Spoiler

Chapter 4

_"And you? Would you have your husband?"_

"No. My Christian drowned in Lake Meade. The Christian who came back. . ." she inhaled and exhaled loudly before changing the direction of the conversation: "you had no right to play G-d with our lives!"

"I never meant to hurt anyone. . . I wanted to fix it. I owed Chris that much," John defended.

"And you didn't owe me something when you became my fiancé? Did it ever occur to you that our marriage wouldn't be legal? Did you ever think about what would happen down the road? If he changed his mind? Won an appeal? Got paroled? What if he wanted his life back? _Me _back? What if we had children? What would we tell them? What the hell would you have liked me to do? To tell him? Did you think that we would just be able to go right along, like nothing happened? Didn't you ever _once_ think about the chance of this coming out!"

"I don't know," he admitted as he ran his hand nervously through his hand, purposely ignoring her last question. "What. . . what do you want to do now? What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to leave so I can think. I don't want explanations. I want time," she answered sadly.

"What about our engagement?"

She laughed hollowly at that. "Don't you think that I deserve time to figure that out? G-d John, I can't do thisustill I. . ." she shook her head breathing agitatedly. "There are things I need to consider. To do and take care of before I can even think of the ramifications for you and me.

But one thing I do know. You have to tell Antonio and Carlotta the truth."

"Christian doesn't want. . . "

"Well, Chris lost his vote in this the minute Evangeline threw the truth in my face. So did you. Tell them before I do."

"All right."

"I also think you should leave," she informed stiffly as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"I figured as much," he nodded. "I'm sorrier than you know."

"Sometimes sorry just doesn't cut it."

"Are you going to be ok? Do you want me to call Jess or your mom for you?"

"No. I don't want you to do anything for me right now. I'll be fine on my own. There're some thins I need to take care of and then I'm going to bed. It'll be a long drive to Statesville in the morning."

"You're going to see him?"

"Yeah. I think I deserve to hear him admit the truth to my face, don't you?" she challenged.

"I suppose."

"You should go," she sighed tiredly.

Slowly, John nodded and silently went to put on his jacket before picking up the box of things that Evangeline her left for him. "I never meant to hurt you."

"_Most _people never do," she answered tensely as she turned and stared out the window.

Shaking his head, he stared at her stiff back, softly saying the only words he could: "I do love you, Natalie."

"I know you do."

"When you're ready to talk, I'll be around."

"Yeah, I know that too," she answered, still refusing to turn and look at him.

"I. . ." he exhaled and shook his head before heading towards the door.

"John," she called softly.

"Yeah?"

"Michael said you could stay at his place."

"Did you. . ."

"No. Just said we were being old fashioned."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Balancing the box, John continued out of the living room, shifting it to open the door. "Goodbye, Natalie," he called as he exited.

"Bye John," she said simply, holding herself stiff till she heard the door slam shut behind him. Once she was sure that she was alone, she allowed the tears to slowly slide down her cheeks and herself to temporarily fall apart.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

By the time her doorbell rang an hour later, Natalie was somewhat more composed, although there was little she could do to hide the redness and puffiness of her eyes. As the doorbell seemed to peal against her aching head, she moved down the stairs to pull it open.

"About damned time, girl. When you ask someone to be somewhere, you should be ready on time," Asa groused as he moved pass Natalie and into the house. "Now what did you need that was so important that I had to come here instead of you. . ." he bulldozed, only to stop as he took in her face. "Dag nam it, what that idiot cop do to you? I'll have him brought out and. . ."

"Thanks for the thought, Asa, but it isn't completely John's fault," Natalie sighed as she crossed into the living room.

"Then I'll get whoever else is too."

Natalie laughed slightly at that, "If only it was that simple."

"If you don't want me to draw and quarter the boy, what do you want?" he asked as he sat on the couch.

"What's the easiest way for me to get a quickie divorce discretely?" she asked point blank.

"What? Don't tell me after the Lawrence fiasco you went off and. . ."

"Ass, I didn't, OK? Can you not judge me or John or jump to conclusions and answer my question please?"

"If you tell me why you need one," he countered.

Exhaling, Natalie started to pace in front of him: "John Doe."

"Excuse me? Do you mean that snip of a boy who pretended to be Christian?"

"No, I mean the one, who, according to DNA tests, is Christian."

Asa started at her for a moment before getting to his feet. "I don't know who's put that cockamamie idea in your head. And I swear if it's one of Chandler's distractionary tactics. . . ."

"Dmnit, not everything is about Ace and the Chandlers! While you were helping Kevin keep a child who isn't his, someone was playing G-d with my life! For just once, I want to get control of it back and for you to maybe pretend that I'm as much your grandchild as. . ." she started only to start crying again. "Dmnit! I thought I was done with this!"

Shaking his head, Asa turned her around to face him and gave her an awkward hug. "I do. . ." he started as he shook his head and pulled back. "Tell me what happened."

"John had suspected that Christian wasn't Christian and he and Evangeline convinced me to get them something that would. . ." she paused wiping at tears. "I got them Chris's razor for DNA. . . I don't know what they compared it to, and. . . by the time the results came back it didn't seem to matter. He had confessed and. . ."

"He was put in jail where he belongs."

"Yeah. The only thing is the DNA test proved that he is Christian. Evangeline was kind enough to bring the results with her when she came to drop off some of John's stuff today so that I could know the truth," Natalie finished sarcastically.

"She could've. . ."

"She didn't," Natalie interrupted. "John knew. He said he promised Chris that he wouldn't tell."

"I see," Asa said as he pulled out his cell phone and flipped it open.

"What are you doing?"

"Making sure he gets kicked off the force."

"Don't."

"What do you expect me to do? You want me to do for you what I would do for the others. So let me."

"John made a couple of valid points in his defense, OK? You want to bring someone's career to a screeching halt, go gunning for Evangeline. She's the one who's being vindictive. And to tell you the truth, I've had enough of her crap to gladly unleash you onto her," she countered. "In the meantime, I want Chris out of my life."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. My Chris is _dead_. He wouldn't have let us all think that he was an imposter or put us through the hell of losing him a second time."

"I don't know. I always thought he was nothing but a self righteous punk."

"Asa. . ."

"What? He wasn't nearly good enough for you. If I said anything I was told to hush up and stay out, and who am I to object over your mother and Renee?" he asked to her 'harrumph.' "I learned with stubborn woman that it's better to let them make their own mistakes."

"Saids the most stubborn old coot I know!"

"Then I should know what I'm talking about, shouldn't I?" he asked. "Go to St. Blaze. I'll have everything arranged by the time you get there tomorrow morning."

"Afternoon," she corrected, then answered at his look: "Chris is going to have to face me. I'm not going to let him just get away with this."

"Fine. I'll talk to Nigel about taking us."

"Asa, you don't have to. . ."

"The hell I don't!" he replied. "That boy hurt you multiple times and he's going to end up doing it again tomorrow. You can talk to him all you want on your own, but then he's going to have to answer to me. McBaine too."

"You don't have to go gunning for John. I'm sure Antonio and Carlotta will cut him down to size," she said sadly.

"You love him, don't you?"

"Its what makes this so bad. What makes it hurt so much. If he had just told me. . . trusted that I was over. . . Grandpa, I never. . . the Christian who came back scared me. I would've. . . sooner or later, he would've. . ."

"Come here," Asa said, hugging her again, allowing her to cry into his shoulder before setting her away from him so that she could look him in the eye. "You listen here and you listen good. You don't deal with things like that on your own, you hear me? It might be old fashioned, and lord knows you could probably have laid the boy flat on your own, but Buchanans stick together. And the Buchanan men don't let anyone hurt their women."

"Considering some of the things that I've been through. . . seen. . . I don't know how much I believe that.

I know I felt like I had to make it work. Be happy with the second chance I got. It should've been a dream come true, only it was a nightmare. And there was so much else that you all needed to focus on.

I guess I've just learned to be invisible and silent. My problems aren't--- weren't--- on the same scale.

Even now with what's going on with Jess and the custody stuff. . . I just need to end that part of my life and I didn't know who else could answer my questions. I can do this on my own if I have to."

"Well, you don't," Asa countered. "Go get yourself packed. You're coming home with me for the night and we'll go to Statesville and then St. Blaze tomorrow."

"Why? I still have to come back here and face it all. I know there'll be the accusations again. If it isn't how I ruined Chris's life then it'll be how John lied so that we could be together or G-d knows what else! Part of me wants to just run away and hide. To just forget all this."

Asa stared at her for a moment: "is the family part of all this too?"

"I don't know," she admitted. "I'm just tired of fighting. I thought it would be different if I was someone different. But I still work double shifts and have to fight for every bit of ground I make in this family. I have no idea who the hell I am any more. I live in two worlds. The Buchanan one and the Balsom one and I can't make decent choices in either!"

"You are definitely a Buchanan. Stubborn. Independent. Want to make it on your own, but you also want family. Of all my grandchildren you probably have to unfortunate distinction of being the one most like me."

"What?"

"We fight so hard that sometimes we push people away because we're afraid our relationships with them will break apart or they'll push us away first, don't we?"

"I suppose."

"We've also come up the hard way."

"Yeah."

"You want to stop fighting for a while, then do it. You have the means to go someplace else. To start over someplace else if it comes to it. Or you can go to London. I know that son of mine would love for you to visit."

"Yeah. Right. His concern about all of this so far has been overwhelming. And Joey's always on retreat."

Asa sighed at that: "to tell you the truth, I don't know how much they actually know. I don't talk to either of them nearly as much as I should, and I doubt you talk all that much to your Pa yourself. In fact, I'll let you in on a secret. I suspect that your Pa's jealous of just how much you let Bo know and not him."

"Yeah, well, Uncle Bo is here, isn't he?" Natalie shot back. "And I can't help it if Mom can't see what's there and keeps sending him away, or that he doesn't get that she's not the only one who needs him. And just once, I don't want to have to ask. I'd like for him to buy a clue!"

"So get on a plane and tell him that!"

"Like it would work? Besides, I'd only end up sounding as whiny as Duke. Besides I can't run forever."

"Well, you'll have sometime to think it over. Now get those things together so that we can go."

"I need to be alone."

"It's a big house, you'll have your space, but you're coming with me. You need family tonight."

"Fine. Fine. I'll go throw some stuff together."

"And don't forget your passport."

"You're not going to dump me in London are you?" she asked suspiciously.

"Don't go giving me ideas."

"Wouldn't dream of it."


End file.
